Helpful ways to avoid sibling rivalry in your home

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There is nothing quite like sibling rivalry. It’s exhausting for parents and it brings the atmosphere around the home down. If not handled appropriately and on time, this can go on for as long as possible and damage the relationship between your children forever.

Below are some better practices we have found to help encourage our kids and ourselves to pursue peace.  

1.   Demonstrate Healthy Conflict Resolution

Healthy conflict resolution is vital to children’s emotional health, and they learn this in the home. The way conflict is handled in your home is most likely how they will manage conflict throughout their lives. Let them witness you and your spouse work through things and apologize to one another. 

Be very intentional about how you handle conflict with each of your children.

2.   Apologies are Essential to Getting Along

Be quick to apologize when you have been impatient or unkind so that they learn to be quick to apologize. 

An essential piece of an apology is taking responsibility for what you have done and admitting it was wrong. It is imperative for our children to learn to quickly own their mistakes and make it right with the person they have wronged. 

3.   Remind Them of Who They Are

Part of being a family is we all have responsibility for the tone and tenor of our home. We all have agreed that we want our home to be a place of peace. Reminding our children that they are part of something bigger than themselves calls them to action. They can choose to be a part of something we are all working towards together, which gives them greater purpose and meaning for their choices. 

4.   Practice Gratitude for Siblings

Siblings are a gift! Siblings are a gift! Siblings are a gift! Make this a mantra for your kids. Encourage them to speak their gratitude for and to one another often!

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5. Plan fun family time

Family dinners, playing board games, spending time away and doing activities are a great way for children to bond and share positive memories together. These moments give children less incentive to pick fights with each other and give them an opportunity to spend more time with you. 

6. Treat kids fairly — not equally

For parents, fairness is essential, but fair doesn’t always mean equal. Punishments and rewards should be tailored to your children’s individual needs. For example, you don’t have to give two children the same toy. Instead, give them different toys suited to their ages and interests. That kind of fairness will go a long way.

7.   Use Scripture to Encourage Siblings to Get Along

We use a lot of scripture in our home. Here are some helpful scriptural reminders about love and kindness to memorize with your kids! by

• Seek Peace and Pursue it. Psalm 34:14
• Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31
• But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
• Love one another as I have loved you John 13:34
• Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
• Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Eph 4:32

Build A Peaceful Home

During this unprecedented time, most of us are spending more hours at home together than ever before. Now is a great time to set some good habits in motion to encourage our kids to love their siblings well. Pray for them to have hearts that are willing to put others first and demonstrate daily how to have healthy loving relationships. A peaceful home is worth all the effort!