It can be the smallest of gestures, the simplest of phrases, and quietest of actions that make us think that the person we’re having a conversation with is truly connecting with us.

According to Paul Ford, a writer and programmer, below are some tricks on how to be polite, which he swears have never failed him.

When you’re at a party or event and find yourself in a conversation with someone you don’t know well or even at all, try and see how long you can hold off talking about what they do for a living.

Ask plenty of questions and let the other person do most of the talking.

After you’ve exhausted all other getting-to-know-you party topics, such as how they know everyone at the party or what they’re drinking, ask the person you’re chatting with what they do for a living.

But right after they tell you, say, “Wow, that sounds hard.”

Almost everybody thinks their job is hard, and when someone acknowledges that it sounds difficult, you feel validated. Humans respond to empathy and it helps forge connections between people.

Empathy is known as social glue, as it helps bind people together and creates harmonious relationships. And when you’re polite, you show regard for others in manner, speech, and behavior.

By asking questions, being polite, showing interest, and being empathetic, it makes dealing with you pleasant and enjoyable and helps to create a relationship.

So, the next time you’re out with strangers, ask about someone’s job and then recognize how tough it must be. You’ll be surprised at how much better people will respond to you socially.


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